While traveling to Washington DC this past month, I had the opportunity to join several friends for happy hour at an upscale restaurant/lounge called The Park. As we waited for our drinks to arrive, the men in the group admired the beautiful waitress serving us. “She has to be taken,” said one of my guy friends. “If she’s not taken, she’s definitely dating a football player or someone like that,” said another about the very voluptuous and curvy woman wearing a form fitting black dress accented with gold jewelry and black curls cascading down her back. “How do you know?” I asked, “I bet you anything, she’s probably single.” “There’s no way she’s single,” the guys agreed in unison. I wanted to ask her about her relationship status, but she was working hard that night and I never quite built up the nerve to inquire about something so personal. However it occurred to me that if she was single she was most likely going to remain that way that night. As if it was challenging for me just to ask the question, I know she would have been too intimidating for most men to approach.
This situation is all too familiar for me. In fact, this week my dad called and told me about a friend of his who revealed her son had the biggest crush on me before he got married. “Um. really?” I said to my dad, “I don’t remember ever having a real conversation with him. I don’t even remember him asking me for my number.” “Well apparently he was,” responded my dad. Although there’s nothing I can do about the situation now, it made me think about how many men cross my path on a daily basis admire me and just keep on walking. Maybe they think I have a boyfriend or am even out of their league so they never approach me. They eventually go on to marry women who may not be as intimidating or seem to be more attainable. Leaving the pretty girl to marry someone she “deserves”: the business tycoon, the major league athlete, rock star, etc. Problem is there are not a lot of those men available and the ones who are also have to choose among their college sweethearts, groupies and the women who don’t look like gold diggers (i.e. also other pretty girls). So where does this leave the pretty girl? Oftentimes, alone.
There are times I have even gone out dressed down with no make-up and my hair in a ponytail just so I can appear more approachable to men. Usually it works. It’s just that it doesn’t always attract the type of men I’m looking for. In addition, I don’t feel like I should have to dress down just so men think I’m available. So what are my options? What are the options for pretty girls in general?
As a woman, can you relate to the “pretty girl blues?” If so, how do you deal with it?
As a man, are you ever intimidated by pretty girls? If so, what would you recommend single pretty girls do to be more approachable?
Photo: Lasana Smith