If you’re a woman or an engaged or married man, you most likely have heard about the 4 C’s: Cut, Carat, Clarity and Color. Although these C’s may be important to know if you’re about to embark on a marital relationship, are you aware of the C’s that will help you sustain a relationship before and during marriage? In my recent blog, “Why Do Americans Need To Be Married?” I shared with you what psychologist Steve Brody called the 3 C’s: Chemistry, Commitment and Communication. Let’s discuss why the 3 C’s are important in building and maintaining a healthy relationship:
- Chemistry: It’s challenging for a relationship to thrive and flourish without chemistry. Chemistry is the emotional glue that makes you connect and want to stay with a person. Some people experience chemistry as a spark, that “being swept off your feet” feeling. Others experience chemistry as a feeling of connection or “knowingness” they are supposed to be with a certain person. However you experience chemistry, the important thing is for it to be present in the relationship.
- Commitment: Everyone knows relationships can be challenging with two people coming together having distinct personalities, backgrounds and life experiences. Add to that life’s ups and downs along with spontaneous situations and circumstances and you can have a recipe for disaster to any relationship. Even if there is a lot of chemistry in the relationship, if there is no commitment the relationship will not last. Commitment isn’t just about staying in the relationship but truly being there for each other, supporting each other in reaching goals and becoming the best person each can be. Commitment is also about staying true to your partner. Safeguarding your relationship from outside influences. This could be from family members who don’t like your partner, friends who don’t get along with your partner or members of the opposite sex who may seduce you to cheat on your partner. Being truly committed gives your relationship the ability to weather the storms of life no matter how tumultuous they may become.
- Communication: Effective communication is the “secret sauce” of maintaining a healthy relationship. It is a known fact that men and women communicate differently. Because of this, miscommunications within relationships happen frequently. A lack of communication is also harmful in sustaining a healthy relationship. So how can we get communication to work for us instead of against us? By having direct oral communication, we can easily stop making assumptions and thinking our partner can read our minds. Notice I stated direct oral communication. In this day and age, technology has made it easier and quicker for us to communicate, but text and email communication is still nowhere near as effective as oral communication whether in person or by phone. Communication allows each partner to share their needs, desires and expectations. This knowledge is necessary in allowing a relationship to survive and thrive.
Instituting the 3 C’s in your relationship will ensure both parties remain happy and fulfilled and your relationship will be a stronghold providing you with love and security for years to come.
Do you have the 3 C’s in your relationship? If so, what do you do within your relationship to strengthen them?
Photo: Pink Sherbet Photography/ Flickr