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What Do Women Want In A Man?

  • February 12, 2013 at 4:22 pm

While looking at status updates on Facebook the other day, I came across one that caught my attention: “How do you date in 2013? It’s funny but we as people sometimes lose sight on the key ingredients of a relationship or a marriage. To find a mate anywhere, online, a club, etc. and be physically attracted to them and quickly jump in the bed but you really don’t know that person but because the sex is so good, then you overlook their faults. So what’s more important: physical attraction/good sex or moral values, let me know.” *

My first thought after reading this was, “Well I’d like to have all three!” However, as I read his comments, I started to think about my personal dating and relationship life. Which do I really choose first? There are several great guys in my life that I have platonic friendships which I greatly admire and appreciate their morals and values. They have the type of standards of the man I would want to marry. Unfortunately, I am not physically attracted to the majority of these guys and if there is no physical attraction, I’m not going to even look to explore the sexual chemistry. At one point, I tried to date a guy that although I wasn’t physically attracted, had the morals and values I was looking for. When asking one of my guy friends for advice on the situation, he told me, “Why would you want to date someone where’s there’s no attraction?”  I agreed and decided to look elsewhere.

On the other hand, I have dated men with great looks, whom I went on to have a powerful sexual connection, but after finding out their values and morals didn’t match up to mine, I broke it off. This was definitely harder, because then I would ask myself (and God), “Oh why couldn’t this work out? Why couldn’t he have had the same morals and values as mine as well?” Sigh!

I don’t want to come off as being picky and I truly want someone who is the entire package. However, sometimes it seems that the longer I’m single and the older I get, the slimmer the pickings. A friend of mine, Sharon, once emailed me this joke about what a woman wants in a man:

What I Want In A Man!     Original  List
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring  listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises

What I Want in a Man         Revised List (age  32)
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries

What I Want in a Man      Revised List (age  42)
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn’t  drive off until I’m in the car
3. Works steady – splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I’m talking
5. Usually remembers  punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man     Revised List (age  52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t re-tell the same joke too many  times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh  underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man     Revised List (age  62)
1. Doesn’t scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he’s laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it’s the weekend

What I Want in a Man       Revised List (age  72)
1. Breathing..
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet..

I don’t want to compromise what I’m looking for just to find a potential mate. However, I don’t want to end up being single and alone because I wasn’t open-minded enough. I feel I bring an entire package to the table, is it too much to ask that my potential mate does so as well?

How do you date in 2013? What are the most important aspects you look for in a potential mate?

* Facebook quote originally written by TK Williams and used with permission.

Photo: Seekaltroutes’/ Flickr

5 Tips for a Winning Online Dating Profile

  • April 22, 2011 at 5:30 am

Last week when interviewed on the BLAKstar radio show, I was asked about my dating tips for 2011. These tips can be found in my blog, Summer Lovin’. This week I wanted to explore what seems to be the most challenging tip, joining an online dating website. What is it about joining a dating website that makes so many people cringe? According to recent studies, 1 in 5 new relationships now begin on an online dating website. I personally know many friends who have met quality partners and even got married to someone they met from an online website. Although it’s no longer taboo to place our picture on a site to meet new people, I believe what worries people the most about online dating is creating the profile. Many people don’t know where to begin. What type of pictures should be used? What should the profile say? How does one attract the right partner? What does one do to attract the right partner?

Here are 5 tips on how to create a winning online dating profile:

1.       Display Smiling Photos

Showcase photos in which you are smiling and/or doing a fun activity on your profile. These types of photos will make you appear more approachable, friendly, and fun. You should be alone in these pictures as this profile is about showcasing you. Also make sure to share at least 3-4 photos on your profile.

2.       Have a Fun Heading

Besides the photo, the heading is the next thing a person usually sees before opening your profile. It should be a fun statement that piques their interest. An eye catching heading could be a favorite saying, motto or phrase. Just make sure that it says something positive about you.

3.       Paint a Picture

Your profile says a lot about you. Therefore share your best attributes. But to really make your profile stand out from the thousands of others on the site, don’t just write them out. Paint a picture. For example, if you are a caring person, instead of simply writing that, share an example of how you volunteer at an animal shelter on Sundays or how you spent many years of your life as a caretaker. This will not only make you seem more real than just words on a profile, but will give the person reading it something to connect with.

4.       Create a Vision of Love

This is the most imaginative part of creating your dating profile. What is your love vision? What would your partner be like? What types of activities would you do together? How would he/she treat you? Craft a brief paragraph and describe this at the end of your profile so you can attract your ideal mate.

5.       Be Honest

The entire reason you are creating this online dating profile is to meet someone you are compatible with. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Being honest on your profile is the best way to attract someone who you may build a lifelong love connection with.

Although I have shared these 5 tips with you, I know there are still many of you who find the entire process of creating an online dating profile overwhelming or are simply too busy to create one. In fact, I recently gained a client who wanted to use my services to create her Match.com profile. If you are also interested in this service, e-mail me at lasanaonline@gmail.com. The first 10 people who e-mail me will get an initial online dating profile setup for only $50 (a savings of $25).

Do you have any successful online dating stories? What suggestions do you have for people creating an online dating profile?

Photo: Ed Yourdon/ Flickr