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What Do Women Want In A Man?

  • February 12, 2013 at 4:22 pm

While looking at status updates on Facebook the other day, I came across one that caught my attention: “How do you date in 2013? It’s funny but we as people sometimes lose sight on the key ingredients of a relationship or a marriage. To find a mate anywhere, online, a club, etc. and be physically attracted to them and quickly jump in the bed but you really don’t know that person but because the sex is so good, then you overlook their faults. So what’s more important: physical attraction/good sex or moral values, let me know.” *

My first thought after reading this was, “Well I’d like to have all three!” However, as I read his comments, I started to think about my personal dating and relationship life. Which do I really choose first? There are several great guys in my life that I have platonic friendships which I greatly admire and appreciate their morals and values. They have the type of standards of the man I would want to marry. Unfortunately, I am not physically attracted to the majority of these guys and if there is no physical attraction, I’m not going to even look to explore the sexual chemistry. At one point, I tried to date a guy that although I wasn’t physically attracted, had the morals and values I was looking for. When asking one of my guy friends for advice on the situation, he told me, “Why would you want to date someone where’s there’s no attraction?”  I agreed and decided to look elsewhere.

On the other hand, I have dated men with great looks, whom I went on to have a powerful sexual connection, but after finding out their values and morals didn’t match up to mine, I broke it off. This was definitely harder, because then I would ask myself (and God), “Oh why couldn’t this work out? Why couldn’t he have had the same morals and values as mine as well?” Sigh!

I don’t want to come off as being picky and I truly want someone who is the entire package. However, sometimes it seems that the longer I’m single and the older I get, the slimmer the pickings. A friend of mine, Sharon, once emailed me this joke about what a woman wants in a man:

What I Want In A Man!     Original  List
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring  listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises

What I Want in a Man         Revised List (age  32)
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries

What I Want in a Man      Revised List (age  42)
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn’t  drive off until I’m in the car
3. Works steady – splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I’m talking
5. Usually remembers  punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man     Revised List (age  52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t re-tell the same joke too many  times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh  underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man     Revised List (age  62)
1. Doesn’t scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he’s laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it’s the weekend

What I Want in a Man       Revised List (age  72)
1. Breathing..
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet..

I don’t want to compromise what I’m looking for just to find a potential mate. However, I don’t want to end up being single and alone because I wasn’t open-minded enough. I feel I bring an entire package to the table, is it too much to ask that my potential mate does so as well?

How do you date in 2013? What are the most important aspects you look for in a potential mate?

* Facebook quote originally written by TK Williams and used with permission.

Photo: Seekaltroutes’/ Flickr