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Summer Lovin’

  • May 28, 2013 at 12:38 pm

It’s officially summer! Time to break out your sunglasses, bathing suit and….your summer love! How can you do that when you couldn’t get a winter romance or even a spring fling? Well I’ve got five suggestions to get your summer sizzling…and it won’t just be because of the heat!

1. Unplug

As a technology addicted, Blackberry always in hand person, I totally understand how hard it is to separate yourself from your laptop, cell phone, MP3 player, etc. As much as these devices make our lives convenient, they have hindered our interpersonal relationships. We spend more time looking at the text our friend sent us than around us to discover what hottie might be checking us out! This summer, make it a point not to be distracted by these devices when out. Take time to be in the present moment and really enjoy the “scenery!”

2. Smile

Now that your technology is safely tucked away (it’s the #1 suggestion for a reason friends), notice everything great happening around you: the happy faces on a Ferris wheel, a child enjoying an ice cream cone, skateboarders doing stunts, and smile. When you smile, you look approachable. You become more attractive.  There’s a great quote, “Always remember to be happy because you never know who’s falling in love with your smile.”

3. Get Out

You’ll never meet Mr. or Mrs. Right in your house and there’s no need to. With the elevated heat comes less clothing so why not enjoy the view? Many cities offer great summer events which include concerts, outdoor movie screenings and festivals. Several of these events are even free so you can’t use lack of finances as an excuse. Google summer events in your city and see what you find. Then go out and explore!

4. Speak To Strangers

Ok, when you were five your mom probably told you not to speak to strangers which was good advice at the time. Now you’re old enough to know which strangers you should and should not talk to. The cutie by the bar with the drink in hand might be someone you should strike up a conversation with. How do you speak to a stranger? Use simple conversation starters or compliments such as, “Hello. Is it hot enough for you?” or “I really love your watch. Where did you get it?” Make sure the questions are open-ended (nothing that can be answered with a “yes” or “no”) and your compliments are genuine and G-rated (let’s keep it clean people.) Don’t use lines. Just say the things that you are naturally thinking anyway. After some small talk, find a way to close it, “I really enjoyed our conversation today. Maybe we can meet up again sometime soon. Are you on Facebook?” This is great, because most people are on Facebook and there is less pressure to give someone a name or email for Facebook than a phone number. However, if you’re really feeling the chemistry is there, then step it up and ask for the digits or offer yours.

5. Join an Online Dating Website

According to recent studies, 1 in 5 new relationships now begin on an online dating website. I personally know many friends who have met quality partners and even got married to someone they met from an online website. With such a high dating ratio, it’s no longer taboo to place your picture on a site to meet new people. It’s a great tool to pre-screen potential partners before you’ve even gone out on the first date. It will also give you the ability to go out on several dates, keeping your summer social calendar quite full.

Now that you’ve read these valuable tips, get off the computer and go enjoy your summer!

Photo: Lasana Smith

5 Tips for a Winning Online Dating Profile

  • April 22, 2011 at 5:30 am

Last week when interviewed on the BLAKstar radio show, I was asked about my dating tips for 2011. These tips can be found in my blog, Summer Lovin’. This week I wanted to explore what seems to be the most challenging tip, joining an online dating website. What is it about joining a dating website that makes so many people cringe? According to recent studies, 1 in 5 new relationships now begin on an online dating website. I personally know many friends who have met quality partners and even got married to someone they met from an online website. Although it’s no longer taboo to place our picture on a site to meet new people, I believe what worries people the most about online dating is creating the profile. Many people don’t know where to begin. What type of pictures should be used? What should the profile say? How does one attract the right partner? What does one do to attract the right partner?

Here are 5 tips on how to create a winning online dating profile:

1.       Display Smiling Photos

Showcase photos in which you are smiling and/or doing a fun activity on your profile. These types of photos will make you appear more approachable, friendly, and fun. You should be alone in these pictures as this profile is about showcasing you. Also make sure to share at least 3-4 photos on your profile.

2.       Have a Fun Heading

Besides the photo, the heading is the next thing a person usually sees before opening your profile. It should be a fun statement that piques their interest. An eye catching heading could be a favorite saying, motto or phrase. Just make sure that it says something positive about you.

3.       Paint a Picture

Your profile says a lot about you. Therefore share your best attributes. But to really make your profile stand out from the thousands of others on the site, don’t just write them out. Paint a picture. For example, if you are a caring person, instead of simply writing that, share an example of how you volunteer at an animal shelter on Sundays or how you spent many years of your life as a caretaker. This will not only make you seem more real than just words on a profile, but will give the person reading it something to connect with.

4.       Create a Vision of Love

This is the most imaginative part of creating your dating profile. What is your love vision? What would your partner be like? What types of activities would you do together? How would he/she treat you? Craft a brief paragraph and describe this at the end of your profile so you can attract your ideal mate.

5.       Be Honest

The entire reason you are creating this online dating profile is to meet someone you are compatible with. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Being honest on your profile is the best way to attract someone who you may build a lifelong love connection with.

Although I have shared these 5 tips with you, I know there are still many of you who find the entire process of creating an online dating profile overwhelming or are simply too busy to create one. In fact, I recently gained a client who wanted to use my services to create her Match.com profile. If you are also interested in this service, e-mail me at lasanaonline@gmail.com. The first 10 people who e-mail me will get an initial online dating profile setup for only $50 (a savings of $25).

Do you have any successful online dating stories? What suggestions do you have for people creating an online dating profile?

Photo: Ed Yourdon/ Flickr

5 Dating Tips For Single Parents

  • February 26, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Dating can be complicated: meeting someone you may like, going out on dates to discover compatibility and getting the approval of your family and friends. However, there’s an added level of complexity when you have to introduce the person you’ve been seeing to your child or children. Will this person be a good guardian? Can this person handle an already made family? Will your child or children be willing to receive this person as a parental figure? The effects of integrating a significant other into a family can be substantial and long lasting. So much so that I find many single parents become overwhelmed, giving up dating all together.  But by the nature of being a single parent, you display several characteristics that are desirable for a long-term committed relationship that would be treasured by the right partner. For example, most single parents provide an environment of love, nurturing and stability for their children. That environment is like an oasis for a single person who is used to taking on life’s challenges alone. It reminds them of their childhood or the childhood they wished they had. It also may make you even more likely to build a long-term romantic relationship than a single person without children. Since a single person without children may have not yet developed these characteristics or be able to display them to a potential partner as quickly. These are just a few of the reasons why single parents should be available to dating.

Here are a few dating tips for single parents:

  • Be Open- As stated above, many single parents are not even open to the idea of dating. You deserve to be loved and have a wealth of love to share with someone. Don’t let being a single parent prevent you from attaining a deep and long-lasting love.
  • Wait Until You’re In An Exclusive Relationship To Introduce Your Children- This is important because your children don’t need to meet every man or woman you go out on a date with. They should only be properly introduced when you have decided to be in an exclusive relationship. This is also important for the person you’re dating as this gives them time to assess you and fall in love with you as an individual before meeting the rest of your family.
  • Speak To Your Children About Your Relationship- Children are very perceptive and understand more than we usually give them credit for. Make sure your children know that your heart is big enough for them and the person you are dating. That you are open to discuss their feelings or any concerns they may have. You and your children should be able to have an open and honest dialogue regarding your relationship.
  • Integrate Your Partner Into Family Activities- Once you’ve decided to be exclusive and had an open dialogue with your children, this is the time to see how well your partner assimilates into the family. Does he or she enjoy spending time with your children? Do your children enjoy spending time with your partner? Really take some time and assess the situation.
  • Balance Your Time- Your partner’s needs will be very different from the needs of your children. You will have to make time to ensure that each is having their needs met and continue to feel loved and secure in their relationship with you. This will also promote harmony in the household.

Although dating as a single parent can be complex, it is important that you also fulfill your needs of having love and companionship in your life. Following these tips will give you the necessary tools needed to grow a healthy and loving romantic relationship in which you and your family can feel comfortable and secure.

Are you a single parent? How have you been able to integrate dating into your life? Any tips you would like to share with other single parents?

Have you dated or are currently dating a single parent? What tips would you like to share for what worked in building your romantic relationship with that person?

Photo: Ernst Vikne / Flickr