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It’s My Blogaversary!

  • May 20, 2011 at 5:00 am

Well actually it was on May 5th and anyone who knows me knows I love Cinco De Mayo! So when I decided to launch the blog, I figured what better day than on one of my favorite holidays. Over margaritas and tortilla chips, I toasted the blog’s one year anniversary and was grateful for its readers and continued success. New Years, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. seem to be days that many people become introspective and reflect over their lives and their goals. My blogaversary was no different. How far had my blog come over the past year? What are the future goals? And where do I as the writer fit in the middle?

Two years after being a featured “Single and Fierce” writer for the Tyra Banks show website, my friends urged me to continue with my own personal dating and relationship blog and thus was formed. Since then Love and Life has steadily increased its number of subscribers and has readers worldwide including countries such as Poland, Italy, Spain and Jamaica. It has attracted media attention which prompted me to establish myself as a “dating and relationship expert.” This allowed me to be featured in the LA Wave newspaper, That’s Life with Angel Tyree and BlakStar radio shows. Love and Life has also been featured in other websites, Fun Lifestyle Fitness and Romantic Comedy Girl. Embracing me as her “Dating Guru,” the author of Romantic Comedy Girl even went as far as to turn the advice from my article Summer Lovin’ into a full blown 5 day Love Diet. Love and Life also launched its first sweepstakes in March randomly selecting subscriber Kathryn Johncox as the winner.

With the Love and Life blog building momentum, my future goals have been to allow it to grow into more of a dating and relationship brand than just a blog. I’m excited about creating a Love and Life Blogtalkradio, Ustream and/or Youtube channel. I also eventually see Love and Life having its own fan page on Facebook and Twitter account. The blog is even starting to get me into dating and relationship coaching and consulting as I am now taking on clients to create online dating profiles. (For more information you can email me at In addition, I’m currently working on two e-books on the topics of dating and relationships.

With all the success of Love and Life, you would think I’d be filled with joy, right? Well I am, but the most challenging part of writing this blog is the fact that I’m still looking to attract the love in my life that I write about. It’s so depressing at times to have so much wisdom and knowledge on dating and relationships and still be single. Whenever I am asked, “Are you in a relationship?” or “How can you be a dating and relationship expert if you’re single?” I feel my insecurities rise up and want to cringe. However, I recently read a quote that stated, “Being single doesn’t mean you know nothing about love. It’s wiser to be alone than to be with the wrong person.” Therefore I push past those insecurities and share with you as often as I can, the wisdom on love that has been given to me and work on following my own advice so I can also attract true and lasting love.

Thank you so much for reading my Love and Life blog. I am thrilled each time a reader tells me how much my articles have enriched their lives by giving them clarity and perspective or as it was intended to ignite conversations on dating and relationships. I look forward to continuing to share my insights with you and hopefully soon my own romantic love in life.

Am I Being Cyber-Stalked?

  • August 7, 2010 at 10:13 am

Last year while a contributor for the Tyra Banks show’s “Single and Fierce” section, I wrote an article entitled, “A Facebook Surprise” and shared a vlog entitled, “A Facebook Surprise Update” where I mentioned how stunned I was to receive a friend request from a now married, ex-boyfriend. I wondered after not speaking to him for several years, was it appropriate to regain contact with him? After much deliberation, I decided that I should let the past remain in the past and to ignore his friend request. Balance was once again restored in my life.

That is until I received a request on LinkedIn from another ex-boyfriend. This time it was a bit more personal. I dated this particular ex for about a year. We had a great relationship as we seemed to have a lot in common, enjoy each other’s company and even started talking about marriage and a future together. All that came to a screeching halt, when I received a voicemail from a woman one night claiming that she was his girlfriend and felt suspect about a text she saw I sent to him. “What?” I thought, “How can this be?” This guy and I had spent nights together and even took a week trip away abroad. Hesitantly I called her back to uncover that we were both being played. He was in a “relationship” with both of us and when we confronted him about it, all he could say was, “I lied to you both and I’m sorry.” I was extremely disappointed and heartbroken. Were there signs of infidelity? A few, but he was excellent at covering his tracks. Also when you’re in love, sometimes you look past certain details as you are looking at the world through “rose colored glasses.” This must be how the term, “love is blind” came to be. Months after his indiscretions were exposed he asked if there was any chance for reconciliation. As far as I was concerned, I could forgive him, but I never could forget and I would never be able to trust him again. That was the last conversation we ever had.

Now years later, through the popularity of all the social networking sites, he keeps popping up to request me as a friend. First it was LinkedIn, which I blocked. Then yesterday, it was Twitter, which I also blocked. I’m sure he’s also tried to find me on Facebook, but my privacy settings are so high that he probably hasn’t been able to discover me there. We don’t have any friends in common so I know I’m not being “suggested” for him to friend by these websites, which is starting to beg the question, am I being cyber-stalked?

It’s very difficult for any of us to hide in this day of technological transparency. We have voluntarily given up our privacy in place of sharing our lives online through status and location updates, photos, videos, etc. with our friends and even more often than we realize the rest of the world. But what happens when there are certain people out there that we would prefer to exclude from seeing our information? We have very little control over who can see much of what we share. Is this the price we pay in the age of social networking?

Have you ever been contacted on a social networking site by someone you would rather not be in contact with? Is there anyone you would like to prevent from seeing the information you share through your social networking sites such as Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, LinkedIn or Foursquare?

Photo: Lasana Smith